Dear God, I’m afraid to start…
POV: You know what to do but lack the courage to move....
For the past months and even years, I have spent many moments in your presence sad and sometimes angry with many questions.
The major being “When do I start?”
I can even remember writing an article out of sheer frustration because I kept receiving prophecies and promises without a clear instruction of what, where or when to start.
Now it’s been a few weeks and there has been so much clarity.
The call is loud & the mandate is clear, but I’m stuck.
I feel like the butterfly who was complaining about being in the cocoon for so long — hidden, obscure, unnoticed.
I felt like my potential to fly was rotting and the many colors on my wings were wasting.
I wanted to come out by all means, to spread my wings and put on display the many beautiful colors I possess.
Everyday, I heard you nudging on me to be patient that one day my time would come.
I kept hearing you say “submit yourself to the process and when you’re ready, I’ll show you to the world”.
Despite the anger, frustration, irritation and even pain I felt, somehow by your special grace, I managed to get through it all.
And now—That same butterfly who begged for freedom is too afraid to leave her cocoon—too scared to let go of her shell...
Not because she now enjoys the dark, cold stench of the shell…
But because she has stayed in it for so long and although she desperately yearns for freedom, she’s also unwilling to let go of the safety the it provides.
You see in the shell, you are unnoticed—hence there are little to zero judgements, criticisms or comments.
In the shell, life is bland but predictable—so there's little to zero need to worry about the unprecedented outcomes of risks.
In the shell, you're hidden, but safe.
No one sees you, so no one can touch you.
Right now, I’m forced to choose between the life I have always dreamed of, or the life I have gotten used to.
I have desire, but lack courage.
There is love in my heart for your work but that same heart quakes with fear at the thought of moving in the direction you’ve mapped out.
It’s worse because this is a journey that must be traveled in solitude. No one is allowed to come along!
You have drawn the lines and laid out the demands. it’s clear that I must do this alone.
The point is this:
Dear God, do not misinterpret my delay for disinterest.
I love you and I desire to do your work but I genuinely lack the courage to get started.
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God typing...
“Sofia, what you feel is common amongst everyone who has ever had to step into purpose;
The fear of the many outcomes, the insufficiency, the feeling of not being prepared or ready to move,
The feeling of unworthiness, the occasional doubts and sometimes even questioning your sanity lol.
All of these are things that have been felt before.
The stories are replete in the Holy Scriptures.
If you were to interview Abraham, Noah, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Esther, Judith, Daniel, David and even Jesus, you'll most likely hear a story similar to yours.
Now understand this, despite the fear, these individuals were able to do exploits because of one common factor—ME.
I have said this to say that I am not a novice when it comes to handling issues like this.
I have been doing it for centuries, so you should trust what I say to you…
Because I do have a couple of things to say:
1.. Delaying doesn’t make starting easier:
Right now you’re refusing to start because you feel unready and unworthy.
The conditions aren’t perfect yet, so you feel insufficient.
You are waiting for the perfect timing, perfect circumstances and the perfect version of yourself before you start.
But in all honesty, you’re waiting for something that doesn’t exist.
There’s no such thing as the perfect place and time.
It’s an illusion!
And the idea of a perfect you; a version that is flawless & has it all together is a disease that cripples your creative ability.
The perfect time to start is when I say so and Sofia I have been “saying so” for a long time now.
Now is the time. It may not seem perfect, but it is approved by Heaven.
2..The courage to move comes when you take steps:
Thinking that one day you’ll wake up feeling courageous enough to start the work is a dream that will never materialize.
It is the work you do that gives you the courage to do more.
Do you think Moses was feeling courageous when he had to approach Pharaoh?
Do you think Esther was feeling courageous when she had to approach the king?
Or maybe you think Joshua was feeling courageous when he had to approach the giants…
This is a principle in the school of the spirit and your case cannot be different.
The audacity to move despite the fear you feel is what earns you the gift of courage. Yes it's a gift!
Start first! Pay “the fear price” and a measure of courage will be given to you.
3.. The provision is in the instruction:
You are waiting for the situation to fall in place so you can start, meanwhile, the situation is waiting for you to start so it can fall in place.
The provision is not just time sensitive, it is location sensitive too.
Remember the story of Elijah...
There had been a terrible famine and I instructed him to go and hide by the Brook of Cherinth because I had commanded ravens to feed him there...
Later on, I asked him to leave and go to Zarephath because I had commanded a widow to feed him there... (See 1 Kings 17)
The instructions I give you are not just tasks for your to-do list.
They are also bearing points for the blessings.
Just as pilots need latitude and longitude values to navigate from one point to another....
So also the provision needs divine coordinates to find it's way to you.
Your refusal to step into what I have said only means the divine provision for that assignment will remain inaccessible.
Imagine Elijah had gone to the brook of Babylon instead, the ravens would have never found him.
The instruction carries a provision, but it is only activated when you're in the right place at the right time.
The lack you're experiencing is an artificial luxury you shouldn't be able to afford.
You're angry at it and I'm shocked you're angry seeing that it is the very object of your creation.
Again and again, I will remind you of a scripture I have been screaming at you for the past weeks
Hopefully this is the time when you listen;
"If you will only obey me, you will have plenty to eat."
Your obedience is the password that grants you access to everything I have promised.
How long it takes absolutely depend on how long you take.
Wrapping up:
Sofia, I am not a foolish person and you must believe it.
Do you think I would send you if I didn’t have a clear plan already?
Listen, stop giving fear more credit than it actually deserves…it's just an emotion happening in your head
My ultimate desire is that you grow to the point where your actions are not derailed or delayed by your emotions.
The point is this:
Feel the fear, acknowledge it even, but act anyways!
“Eli, I'm afraid if I start the business, no one will buy.”
Okay, noted. But start anyway.
“Eli, I'm afraid if I start the ministry, I may fail…”
Alright, no issue. Get up and start anyway.
“I'm afraid if I leave the relationship I’ll never find someone else.”
No problem, acknowledged, but start packing your things to leave first…
You must understand that the fear you feel is an indication of your humanity, but your ability to act anyways is an indication of your belief in my divinity.
You can have doubts, concerns and questions.
Gideon had his doubts. Moses had a list of questions and Sarah had her concerns. But it didn't stop them.
Listen Sofia, fear will always be a factor, you must grow to a point where you become immune to its crippling effect.
The cure for fear is Faith and the Bible gives you the formula for faith.
It comes by hearing the word of God (See Rom 10:17)
If you spend a lot of time with and in my word, you'll see the fear dissipate like fog on a sunny day.”
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It's really simple!
The first step is getting Born Again...
Jesus is the only begotten son of God.
He lived, died and resurrected so you and I can have the luxury of salvation.
To be Born Again, you simply have to believe this in your heart and now make the confession below with your mouth out loud. That's it!
Are you ready:)
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All you have to do is send me this message via email and I'll walk you through the entire process. It's simple!
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Email message:
Subject: I just got Born Again!
Message: Hi Sofie, I said the prayer of salvation and I just got Born Again. What do I do next?
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That being said, until next time, take care<3
