Help! I'm so impatient…
I can't wait to save my own life…
I can remember having this particular conversation with my friend where I said, I think it's unfair that all our lives we're told to do a particular thing but are never taught how to actually do it.
This happens in different areas of our lives.
We're instructed to be kind, mature, composed etc but hardly would you find a clear, practical guide that teaches you how to execute these instructions.
All my life I have always heard "Sofie, you need to be more patient" but on my life, I can tell you for a fact that not a single one of those people have ever explained to me how to go about it...
You see, in my opinion, the subject of patience doesn't get enough attention.
For something so necessary, more articles, videos, books and even sermons should be released on its account.
As I progress in life and age, I'm becoming more conscious of the dire necessity for patience in life.
Of a truth, it is a virtue and I have realized that the ability to achieve anything substantial is heavily contingent on your degree of patience.
To build a business, you need patience.
To deal with people, you need patience.
To even relate with God, you need patience.
This thing called patience is a very integral part of the life we live and that is why I have taken out the time to write this, hoping that by this means, I can give you something I never had — The gift of practical knowledge.
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The first person to ever teach me how to be patient is the Spirit of God.
We have this culture where for every season, usually monthly, we have a word that guides the activities of that period and then a particular issue that would require active fixing.
On some days, it could be pride, or anger, or lust, or main character syndrome (lol, this was one of the worst ones)
Anywho, in a particular season, the issue he highlighted was impatience.
You see, I used to be really bad at waiting, be it for someone or something.
It was so bad sometimes, I'd literally shed tears out of sheer frustration whenever I had to wait in a queue, or wait for a person or worse, wait for a promise.
There was just this commotion and restlessness on my inside that prevented me from sitting still. Sometimes, it'd come as fear, but oftentimes it would come as anger.
From that period, I learnt some invaluable lessons when it came to the subject of Patience and that's exactly what I intend to share with you right now.
Shall we begin?
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Why am I so impatient?
Identifying and understanding the reason behind your impatience is the first step to breaking out of it.
While the Lord taught me about patience, these were his exact words:
"Sofie, impatience comes as a result of the noise and restlessness in your soul. This is what makes you hurry even when there is no need to…”
Now, you must understand that this generation has been programmed to develop a natural appeal for hurry because everything is fast — fast foods, fast transportation, fast messaging.
This has automatically conditioned your mind to resist anything that doesn’t happen fast. It has formed in you a mentality about waiting.
You now see waiting as a waste of time. Anything that isn’t happening instantly makes you feel uncomfortable.
It was easier for our fathers to wait.
For instance, travelling then could take about a month depending on where you’re headed, so their minds were conditioned to be patient until they got results.
There were no outright sources of entertainment as we have now, so our fathers learnt to be familiar and comfortable with boredom.
You could see an elderly man sit outside, doing nothing but staring at the sky and thinking.
In this time, it will be a miracle to find such.
They embraced boredom and the resultant effect was stillness of soul.
But our generation has been taught to fight boredom and embrace and the resultant effect has become noise and restlessness.
Waiting now seems counterproductive and busyness has become the order of the day.
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How do I become more patient?
Now that you understand that it is stillness that allows you be patient. Then the real question is how do I achieve this stillness within?
It's simple!
Embrace boredom.
You must intentionally recondition your mind to learn that boredom is not an enemy. Learn to feel comfortable with doing nothing. This is how you grow your ability to be patient.
Inculcate this practice in your daily life.
Sit still and do nothing.
It’s like a muscle and the more you exercise it the better you get at it.
Have moments where you sit still and do absolutely nothing; just stare at a wall.
Your first few attempts will feel like a murder attempt but force yourself to sit through it.
You can tell yourself “Doing nothing doesn’t actually kill you” because of a truth, it doesn’t.
Also when you find yourself in a situation where you have to wait — maybe at a queue or something — don’t run from it but rather see it as an opportunity to strengthen your patience muscle.
As you practice this, you’ll feel the tension welling up in your mind. Sit through it. This is where the expansion happens.
Don’t run from it. Allow it wash all over you. The more you feel it, the better you'll get.
Also, become intentional about reducing the noise in your mind. This can look like staying away from certain places, platforms and even people.
The ability to be still is a treasure and you must deliberately protect it.
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Wrapping up:
Overtime, I have learnt that patience is not just a virtue, it is also a skill and the truth is no matter what I tell you, the only way you'll truly learn how to be patient is through consistent practice.
Remember practice makes improvement.
If you practice this judiciously, you’ll realize that after a while, waiting will no longer feel like an attempt to take your life
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