God's Quill

Do you feel weird reading this? Because I felt weird writing this… I have this writing tradition where I give my audience a heads up of what's coming for each month's series… I almost always have a back story that explains why I am camping on a particular topic for the month and this one: sexual addiction, wasn't left out. But while I made the announcement, I kept feeling that weird, tingling sensation.  I realized that I had to push myself more than usual because this is an uncomfortable topic to talk about. The subject of addiction to pornography, masturbation and even fornication is one that triggers tension and friction and I discovered why… SHAME! This is the reason why people shy away from the topic and unfortunately it is also the reason why the addiction thrives. If you learn nothing from this article, learn this: “Secrecy fuels sin and shame enables secrecy” So you see, it is a loop and anyone who is truly ready to be free from this addiction must break out of this...

I can't wait to save my own life… I can remember having this particular conversation with my friend where I said, I think it's unfair that all our lives we're told to do a particular thing but are never taught how to actually do it. This happens in different areas of our lives. We're instructed to be kind, mature, composed etc but hardly would you find a clear, practical guide that teaches you how to execute these instructions. All my life I have always heard "Sofie, you need to be more patient" but on my life, I can tell you for a fact that not a single one of those people have ever explained to me how to go about it...  You see, in my opinion, the subject of patience doesn't get enough attention.  For something so necessary, more articles, videos, books and even sermons should be released on its account. As I progress in life and age, I'm becoming more conscious of the dire necessity for patience in life. Of a truth, it is a virtue and I have realize...

Für dich war die Kindheit ein Luxus, den du nicht genießen konntest. Es gab so viele Erwartungen, zahlreiche Verantwortungen, und das raubte dir die Möglichkeit, einfach das Kind zu sein, das du warst. Es gab keinen Raum für Fehler. Es gab keine Zeit zu scheitern. Man erwartete immer, dass du es besser weißt und besser machst. Es gab keine Zeit für das „kindische Zeug“. Auf dem Weg zum Markt gingst du vorbei und sahst deinen Freunden beim Spielen mit Sand zu. Auf dem Weg zu Papas Laden sahst du deine Freunde auf der Straße herumrennen. Mama musste früh zur Arbeit, also wurde dir die heilige Pflicht übertragen, sicherzustellen, dass das Haus in Ordnung war und deine Geschwister gesund waren. Wenn jemals etwas schiefging, gaben sie dir die Schuld. Wenn der Fernseher kaputt ging, war es deine Schuld. Wenn dein Geschwisterkind sich verletzte, warst du unachtsam. Wenn das Wohnzimmer unordentlich war, warst du faul. Alle nannten es Erziehung, und ja, es machte dich verantwortungsbewusster, r...

आपके लिए, बचपन एक विलासिता थी जिसका आप आनंद नहीं ले सके। बहुत सारी अपेक्षाएँ थीं, अनेक ज़िम्मेदारियाँ थीं, और उन्होंने आपसे वह अवसर छीन लिया जिसमें आप सिर्फ एक बच्चा बनकर रह सकते थे। गलतियों की कोई जगह नहीं थी। असफल होने का कोई समय नहीं था। उनसे हमेशा यह अपेक्षा थी कि आप जानें और बेहतर करें। "बचपना" करने का समय ही नहीं था। मार्केट जाते समय, आप रुकते और अपने दोस्तों को रेत से खेलते हुए देखते। पापा की दुकान की ओर जाते समय, आप अपने दोस्तों को सड़क पर दौड़ते हुए देखते। मम्मी को जल्दी काम पर जाना होता था, इसलिए आपको यह पवित्र ज़िम्मेदारी दी गई थी कि घर ठीक से चल रहा हो और आपके भाई-बहन स्वस्थ हों। अगर कुछ भी गलत होता, तो दोष आपका होता। अगर टीवी खराब हो गया, तो आपकी गलती। अगर आपके भाई-बहन को चोट लग गई, तो आप लापरवाह। अगर बैठक बिखरी हुई मिली, तो आप आलसी। हर कोई इसे प्रशिक्षण कहता था और हाँ, इसने आपको आपके कई साथियों से अधिक ज़िम्मेदार, परिपक्व और स्वतंत्र बना दिया। लेकिन क्या वे जानते हैं कि उस प्रशिक्षण की एक और कीमत भी थी? क्या आप जानते हैं कि उस प्रशिक्षण की एक कीमत थी? नहीं? मैं बत...

كانت الطفولة بالنسبة لك رفاهية لم تتمكني من الاستمتاع بها. كانت هناك العديد من التوقعات، ومسؤوليات متعددة، وقد حرمك ذلك من فرصة أن تكوني مجرد الطفلة التي كنتِ عليها. لم يكن هناك مجال للأخطاء. لم يكن هناك وقت للفشل. كانوا دائمًا يتوقعون منك أن تعرفي وتفعلي الأفضل. لم يكن هناك وقت للقيام بـ "الأشياء الطفولية". في طريقك إلى السوق، كنت تمرين وتشاهدين أقرانك يلعبون بالرمل. في طريقك إلى متجر والدك، كنت ترين أصدقاءك يركضون في الشارع. كانت أمي تذهب إلى العمل مبكرًا، لذا تم تكليفك بالمهمة المقدسة لضمان أن يكون المنزل مرتبًا وأن يكون إخوتك بصحة جيدة. إذا حدث أي خطأ، كانوا يلومونك. إذا تعطل التلفاز، كانت غلطتك. إذا تعرض أخوك للإصابة، فأنتِ كنتِ مهملة. إذا كان الصالون فوضويًا، فأنتِ كسولة. الجميع أطلق عليه تدريبًا، ونعم، لقد جعلك أكثر مسؤولية ونضجًا واستقلالية من معظم أقرانك. لكن هل يعلمون أن هذا التدريب كلفك شيئًا آخر؟ هل تعلمين أن هذا التدريب كلفك شيئًا؟ لا؟ سأخبرك... _____________________________________ ...لأنك نشأت وأنتِ تُلامين على 90% من الأمور التي سارت بشكل خاطئ، أصبح لديك برمجة...

Pour toi, l’enfance était un luxe que tu ne pouvais pas te permettre. Il y avait tellement d’attentes, tant de responsabilités, et cela t’a privé de l’opportunité d’être simplement l’enfant que tu étais. Il n’y avait pas de place pour les erreurs. Il n’y avait pas de temps pour échouer. On attendait toujours de toi que tu saches et que tu fasses mieux. Il n’y avait pas de temps pour faire des choses “enfantines” . Sur le chemin du marché, tu passais devant tes camarades qui jouaient avec du sable. Sur le chemin du magasin de papa, tu voyais tes amis courir dans la rue. Maman devait aller au travail tôt, alors on t’a confié le devoir sacré de veiller à ce que la maison soit en ordre et que tes frères et sœurs soient en bonne santé. Si quelque chose tournait mal, c’était ta faute. Si la télé se cassait, c’était ta faute. Si ton frère ou ta sœur se blessait, alors tu avais été négligent(e). Si le salon était en désordre, alors tu étais paresseux(se). Tout le monde appelait ça de la format...

Before I go ahead to give you practical ways you also can stop embarrassing yourself whenever you're given an opportunity to go on stage, it is important to first establish one crucial point. Confidence is not a personality trait, it is a choice you make! Even your mentors and celebrities wake up on some days not feeling like it. Everyone has those days. I said this to say that the idea of appearing or becoming more confident is absolutely possible.  You just have to make the choice to change. I'll tell you a quick secret: Confidence is really just pretending until it no longer feels like you're pretending.  Yep! The most confident people are simply the best pretenders. Listen, no one is really exempted from facing the nerve-wracking fear that comes with going on stage or speaking up.  The only difference between you and those who seem better at this is they have mastered the art of pretense. You too can master speaking even when you're nervous. You just need to know ho...

Para ti, la infancia fue un lujo que no pudiste disfrutar. Había tantas expectativas, múltiples responsabilidades, y eso te robó la oportunidad de simplemente ser el niño que eras. No había espacio para errores. No había tiempo para fallar. Siempre esperaban que supieras y lo hicieras mejor. No había tiempo para hacer “cosas de niños”. De camino al mercado, veías a tus compañeros jugar con arena. De camino a la tienda de papá, veías a tus amigos corriendo por la calle. Mamá tenía que ir al trabajo temprano, así que te confiaron el sagrado deber de asegurarte de que la casa estuviera en orden y tus hermanos en buen estado de salud. Si algo salía mal, te culpaban a ti. Si el televisor se dañaba, era culpa tuya. Si tu hermano se lastimaba, entonces fuiste descuidado. Si la sala estaba desordenada, entonces eras flojo. Todos lo llamaban formación y sí, te hizo más responsable, maduro e independiente que la mayoría de tus compañeros. ¿Pero saben ellos que esa formación te costó algo más? ¿S...

… Dealing with hurt & anger that doesn't go away One of the many compliments I get from my readers is how relatable my articles are and I can say for a fact that it is because I almost always write from a place of experience, not just knowledge. This particular article is not left out. Something happened recently and it opened my eyes to how much anger I've been carrying in my heart for a very long time. Consciously I had convinced myself that I was over the hurt but subconsciously I still harbored resentment towards a lot of people who hurt me, both the living and the dead…lol Anywho, as a psychologist I am inherently compelled to not just experience emotions, but also explore them.  I believe it would be an absolute waste of pain and tears if nothing comes out of the whole situation; no lesson, no art, no nothing… ___________________________________ So, while I discovered that I was still being held back by anger and resentment on a subconscious level, about something tha...

  For you, childhood was a luxury you couldn't enjoy. There were so many expectations, multiple responsibilities, and that robbed you of the opportunity to simply be the child you were. There was no room for mistakes. There was no time to fail. They always expected you to know and do better. There was no time to do the “childish stuff” On your way to the market, you would pass by and watch your mates play with sand.  On your way to daddy's store, you'd see your friends running around the street. Mummy had to be at work early, so you were entrusted with the sacred duty of making sure the house was in order and your siblings were in good health. If ever anything went wrong, they blamed it on you. If the TV got spoilt, it was your fault  If your sibling got injured, then you were careless. If the parlour was scattered, then you're lazy. Everyone called it training and yes, it did make you more responsible, mature & independent than most of your peers But do they know t...

What you'll read in this article is the most practical approach for dealing with any form of addiction... If you've read enough of my articles, one analogy you should be familiar with by now is that of the smoke & fire. I consistently indulge this example, not necessarily because it's my favorite, but because of its practicality in explaining how most times the thing we see is just the effect of an underlying cause. The subject of addiction is one that fits perfectly into this stereotype of experiences. I can tell you for a fact that there are two possible reasons why you're still under the yoke of addiction • A knowledge problem • An action problem Within the cause of this article, I'll be explaining what these two phenomenons connote, and how you can apply them in your peculiar situation and get lasting results. _______________________ Addictions are of different types and depths, and I personally have learnt not to downplay the struggles associated with any. ...