HOW TO GET OVER YOUR INSECURITIES (PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY ETC)
It was on a Sunday afternoon, service had just ended. I was wearing a midi-length, pink body con dress.
I had just entered one of the church buildings to get something and someone whom I held in high esteem looked at me, made a face and asked “why are you so slim?”
That became the beginning of the end of my confidence in my body…or so I thought.
Ever since that day, I made it a point of duty to never wear fitted dresses anymore.
I built a new style around baggy, loose clothing not out of choice, but out of insecurity.
Now, recently I found myself in a situation and this unresolved issue resurfaced again, so I made up my mind that I'd had enough and it was time to break free.
I started asking questions, researching and introspecting.
Along the course of my research, I discovered certain things. These are things I intend to share with you right now.
In this article, I'll explain the real reason you feel insecure, why it holds you back so much and how to break free from it.
I encourage you to pay attention because I am not about to share what I merely watched or read online. No!
These words that I write, they are spirit and they're life…lmao
They are a product of my personal experience and they're what has helped me thus far.
If you struggle with any form of insecurity, rejoice! because today your help is here.
Let's get started. Shall we?
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The Real Reason You Feel Insecure
If you’ve ever battled any kind of insecurity whether with your structure, an ability or disability, or even a situation e.g finances, you’ll understand how something so small can eat at you for years.
When that person asked me on that day, “Why are you so slim?”
I thought that was where the problem started from, but later I realized it wasn't the real cause, it was just a trigger.
While I was introspecting, one of the questions I kept asking myself was — “Sofie, why exactly does that question bother you so much?” “Why does hearing the word ‘slim’ instantly make you feel uncomfortable &....exposed?”
And then I realized something powerful.
Most of our insecurities come from the wrong meaning we’ve attached to something about ourselves.
For example:
For some people, fat doesn’t just mean “having more flesh.” It means ugly or lazy.
For some, short means unattractive.
For some, dark-skinned means less beautiful.
For someone who stutters, that reversible disability means broken or incapable.
But these meanings didn’t come from the dictionary — they are usually a product of people’s words, mockery, rejection, or painful experiences.
I realized that this is how insecurities are born: through false definitions that we end up believing & carrying around.
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Why do your insecurities hold you back so much?
I'll give you a practical example with myself…
During these past weeks of researching & introspecting, I discovered that it wasn't really the word "slim" that was the problem.
It was what I had come to believe the word meant.
Now let me give you context so you understand my POV.
Growing up, people used to constantly ask my mum if I was okay.
Some even asked and insisted that I was either sick, malnourished, or being maltreated because of certain complications around my upbringing.
Consistently hearing that as a child gave me a programming about what being slim meant. It gave me a different definition from what the word actually means.
I learnt to associate being slim with being sick, suffering, neglected, or unloved.
So anytime someone said, “You’re so slim,” what I actually heard was, “You look sick,” or “Are you okay?” or “You look like someone who’s not being taken care of.”
And that’s why it hurt so much. That's why it metamorphosed into an insecurity. That was why it bothered me so much.
It wasn’t really what people said — it was what my mind translated it to mean.
When I finally looked up the real meaning of the word slim, the dictionary literally said “slender in an attractive way.”
Imagine that!
This is what you must understand, that insecurity you're struggling with is a product of a false definition you learned to believe about that natural situation.
E.g if you're insecure about the size of your ears and you always try to cover it up, it's probably because you grew up in a boarding school and you were constantly bullied and called things like “flying ears” or “baby elephant”
So you see that when people comment on your ears or even your ear jewelry, what hurts is not what they say whether good or bad, it is what you've already learnt to be true about your ears.
This example is applicable to every other situation.
Do you get the point now?
Well, since we've been able to debunk the myth surrounding insecurities, why they exist and how they come to be, let's get started with solving the issue.
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How do you heal from insecurity?
As you know, I am a sucker for practical solutions that can be implemented immediately. This is what I love so it is what I give my readers.
But before we start, I feel the need to mention that although you're probably exhilarated by this recent discovery and you also probably feel unstoppable right now (which was how I felt when I learnt of this initially)
Regardless, you must understand that the healing you require will not happen in one day!
Listen, insecurities are products of wounds that have lived in your soul for months or even years and so, unless you're a magician, you shouldn't expect the healing to be instant.
There are days when you will feel like what the Bible describes as “more than a conqueror” and there are days when you will feel shamefully conquered and run back to your shell.
Both days make up the overall healing process, so my personal advice is to be patient and kind with yourself as you consistently practice the tips I'll give you below;
1. Identify the trigger and your meaning of it:
Like I explained earlier, insecurities are not about what people say or think about that specific thing you're struggling with but what you have believed to be true about it
So, ask yourself: What exactly about this thing makes me insecure? What do I believe it says about me?
Is it your body size? Your height? Your skin tone? Your accent? Your finances? Your speech pattern? Your intellect?
Write it down and please be honest with yourself. It doesn't work if you refuse to admit the current reality.
2. Debunk the lie:
This is where research comes in. Now that you've identified the truth about the lie you've believed.
Go and find out what that thing actually means.
Search the word. Read articles. Look at people who carry it beautifully.
You’ll be shocked at how far your mind has stretched one small experience into an entire identity.
3. Replace it with the truth:
Now that you know and have debunked the lie, replace it.
Create affirmations & confessions with it. Say it to yourself in the mirror.
When the tension from the insecurity triggers surface, refuse to cave in and sulk as usual. Affirm yourself until you start to believe it.
Go on Pinterest or Instagram and look for people who look like you and are thriving. Curate your feed — follow the people who make you feel confident in your skin.
Watch how they embrace the thing you're so ashamed of and learn from them.
Little by little, you’ll start to see yourself differently.
4. Pray about it:
This point wasn't included out of a mere sense of obligation as a Jesus baby. LOL no!
In the beginning, I promised to tell you everything that has worked for me. Well, I'd be lying if I didn't add this.
Personally I believe prayer shortens the process and focuses your effort.
One of the advantages of praying about stuff is you get to deal with it alongside God who is wiser than anyone else we know.
He can make your entire journey seamless if you include him in your healing process.
He can even direct you on the right videos to watch, the right books to read and the right people to follow.
Remember, he made you and so he knows you better than anyone hence he's well informed on what you need.
Involve him.
Wrapping up:
Healing from insecurity isn’t about changing into someone else. It’s simply about changing your perception of that situation.
If you can see it through a different lens, it won't hold you back anymore.
Your mind is gullible and it has an inclination to believe whatever you tell it repeatedly. Use this to your advantage.
Stop giving people the power to make you feel confident or not. That is something you alone should wield alongside the God who made you.
So, start introspecting and redefining your insecurities. Change the story in your mind, turn them into strengths and take your power back.
On the days when you feel defeated, come back to this article and read it again.
Also I advise you to reshare this link on your socials, so others can be blessed as well.
That being said, until next time, take care. I'm rooting for you!
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Are you a Newbie?
If this whole "Jesus thing" is new to you and you're confused as to where and how to start, I'll gladly explain:
It's really simple!
The first step is getting Born Again...
Jesus is the only begotten son of God.
He lived, died and resurrected so you and I can have the luxury of salvation.
To be Born Again, you simply have to believe this in your heart and now make the confession below with your mouth out loud. That's it!
Are you ready:)
“Dear heavenly father, I believe in Jesus Christ, your son. I believe he died and was raised again for me. I believe he is alive today and I confess with my mouth that from today Jesus is the lord of my life. I receive eternal life into my spirit. I am a child of God! I am Born Again! Glory to God!”
If you said the prayer, congratulations!
The next step is to GROW!
All you have to do is use the link below:
That being said, until next time, take care<3
