Dear God, I love you, but I really don't understand you.
Today you show up big, tomorrow you're silent!
Honestly, you are unpredictable and it scares me.
Sometimes, it feels like today you're here, and tomorrow you're gone. It's as though today I think I know you and tomorrow I don't.
It scares me because I don't know what really works with you, or what to expect.
Most times, I'm just banking on chance.
This perceived inconsistency makes me feel unsafe around you. Like you don't really “got” me, hence I have to watch my own back.
Because of this, I struggle to trust you with my needs, to trust that you will actually show up because I have all of these memories of times when I waited, but it seemed like you never showed up.
I really do love you and I want this thing we have to work, but I can't seem to understand you and this just makes me skeptical…
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God typing….
“Wow! These are heartbreaking words for a father to hear, but I can understand how and why you'd think and say these things.
Sofia, first of all you must be absolutely convinced of my love for you. Believing that I truly love you is the first place to start.
Secondly, when it comes to receiving from me, you must learn to take the posture of a sheep - humble and totally dependent on me.
You must learn to trust without doubt ,and believe without worry. This will allow me to show up as your shepherd.
Most times after you’ve made your requests, you get so anxious and fearful about me not showing up and this prevents me from actually showing up, or moving the way I would like to.
You ask all of these questions that feed your worry;
Will it really happen?
What if it doesn't happen?
Wait, when will it happen?
How will it even happen?
This creates so much room for fear in your heart and makes it easy for you to doubt me.
Listen sweetheart, It is your fear, doubts and anxiety that limits me, not my inability or “inconsistency”.
After you've humbly made your requests, let go of the outcome. Don't try to answer all the questions and figure out every tiny detail.
I don't need an outlined template to answer your prayers, so don't give me one because I won't use it.
When the doubtful questions creep in, reply with the word of God with confidence and in thanksgiving.
This is how to foster and show faith.
Lastly, you need to trust in the supremacy of my wisdom. You need to believe that I know what's good for you and what I know is the best option.
Sometimes, you may want something and then ask for it, meanwhile I already have a way better option in mind.
You must understand that there's a difference between humbly presenting your requests before me, and making demands, expecting me to do as you have “commanded”.
Remember, I am a King! I don't take orders from you no matter how much I love you.
I give you your desires because I care about you and I genuinely want to see you happy, but you must learn to be still amidst those desires because my power finds expression through your stillness.
The major cause of anxiety is attachments, so detach yourself from the results and rest in the fact that your heavenly father has heard your prayer and he loves you enough to know and do what's best for you.
The best way to build this trust is by spending time with me.
The more you know me, the easier it will be for you to trust me.
-Sigh
Now, can we start afresh? I genuinely dislike the fact that this is your perspective of me and I'm willing to make things better.
Can we try again? Assume we just met and we have no history. Let's start on a clean slate…”
"Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.” Isa.43.18 (MSB)
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Are you a Newbie?
If this whole "Jesus thing" is new to you and you're confused as to where and how to start, I'll gladly explain:
It's really simple!
The first step is getting Born Again...
Jesus is the only begotten son of God.
He lived, died and resurrected so you and I can have the luxury of salvation.
To be Born Again, you simply have to believe this in your heart and now make the confession below with your mouth out loud. That's it!
Are you ready:)
If you said the prayer, congratulations!
The next step is to GROW!
All you have to do is send me this message via email and I'll walk you through the entire process. It's simple!
Email address: iamgodsquill@gmail.com
Email message:
Subject: I just got Born Again!
Message: Hi Sofie, I said the prayer of salvation and I just got Born Again. What do I do next?
Ps: Just Copy and Paste!
That being said, until next time, take care<3
